When I woke up this morning I could not help but think about the events of tonight and tomorrow. I dread them both. But even more I dread them being over. At least right now, I would rather endure this pain forever than face the prospect of seeing him for the last time on this earth.
There are five people in our family. Each one unique. Each one with his or her place.
But when we were all together Jonathan almost invariably set the tone. He was at times the ringleader and other times the ring master. His personality was too big to ignore. If he was in a playful mood, the room became playful. If he was in a combative mood, the room became combative. And in those rare times when he was in a tender mood, the room became tender.
Pam and I believe with all our hearts that Jonathan is joyful and with the Lord, and accept fully that God's plan is better than the one we would have wanted for our boy. But honestly, at this moment that does little to lessen the pain.