Thursday, November 3, 2011
Gossip Girl
28 A perverse man stirs up dissension,
and a gossip separates close friends.
Proverbs 16:28
Let's start with the story of the revolt that took place while Moses was receiving the Ten Commandments. I am sure you know it.
While Moses was on Mount Sinai receiving the two tablets of the covenant, the Israelites were becoming increasingly anxious. The next thing you know, Aaron was approached by the Israelite mob. The mob demanded that Aaron make gods for the people. As for Moses, the mob commented that they did not know what became of him.
Soon enough, Moses came down from the mountain to find the people dancing and worshiping a golden calf. Not surprisingly, Moses got a little upset. God apparently got a little upset too. Ultimately, the party cost about 3,000 Israelites their lives.
On first read, it might seem from the account in Exodus like the revolt against both Moses and God was spontaneous -- the mob suddenly appeared in front of Aaron and made their demand. Clearly, it was not. The mob was in alignment. They knew what they wanted, and they had obviously been talking about Moses -- likely discussing where Moses had gone, what had become of him and whether he was ever coming back.
The Bible, both New and Old Testament, is replete with warnings about the dangers of gossip. The story of Moses and the golden calf hopefully reminds us of the obvious -- that gossip is divisive and destructive. The gossip of the Israelites sowed seeds of doubt in the hearts of the people. Doubts about who Moses was. And, more importantly, doubts about who God was.
Gossip led to the people turning away from Moses and looking to Aaron for human leadership. Gossip lead the same people to turn away from God and to the worship of a dumb idol -- a calf formed from gold. Gossip is divisive.
19 A gossip betrays a confidence;
so avoid a man who talks too much.
Proverbs 20:19
One of the things I find interesting about this story is that the price for the revolt was not just paid by those who started the it. I mean, doesn't it seem like Moses could have just asked God who was responsible for starting this mess in the first place? Wouldn't it have been enough to have made an example of that person (or small group of people)?
But, when you think about it, what is worse -- doing the talking or doing the listening?
I will be the first to admit that there have been times in the past when I listened to gossip when I shouldn't have. Nothing good ever came of it.
As a Pastor, there are times when I really don't have a choice but to listen. Sometimes it takes time to figure out whether the person is raising an issue they really think I can help with or whether they are just talking to talk (or to vent!). But, I have learned at least two things about gossip. First, if for some reason you have to listen, it is never a good idea to repeat what you've heard. Much of the time the potential impact of spreading gossip is obvious. But, all too often gossip leads to destruction that was never imagined.
Second, there are always at least two sides to every story. Some people say there are actually always three sides to every story -- what the first person says, what the second person says, and what really happened. That reality alone is a good reason never to spread gossip.
20 Without wood a fire goes out;
without gossip a quarrel dies down.
Proverbs 26:20
At the end of the day, the best thing obviously is not to gossip at all. And, when someone wants to spread gossip to you, the best thing is just to politely decline to listen.
You have no doubt heard the amateur philosopher ask the age old question whether a tree falling in the middle of a forest with no ears to hear it still makes a sound. Well, no such philosophical question need be asked or answered about gossip. If people don't listen, the fire goes out. Actually, if people don't listen the fire never starts in the first place!
There are certainly times when it is necessary to speak about another person outside of their presence about unflattering things in their life. It may be to try to get help for them or to help or warn someone else. But, before you speak seek God. Pray that God will tell you whether speaking is the right thing to do. Pray for God to help you know who to speak to. Pray that God will give you the right words and the right attitude.
And, by the way ladies, by the title I don't mean to suggest that gossip is a sin reserved for women. I just thought "Gossip Girl" was a cute title!!!
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2 comments:
Excellent blog, John. Here's more from James 3:
9 With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. 10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. 11 Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring?
James 3 is indeed another great admonition. Let's be careful out there!!
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