We know that statistically few will hear the command, and fewer still will obey. The gate is indeed narrow.
If we had any expectations about the journey, they were quickly dashed. The journey was both more difficult and more amazing than we could have imagined. At times we are frustrated with our progress, and at other times overwhelmed by how much God himself has changed our lives. Things that seemed impossible at first become less and less of a struggle over time as the Holy Spirit day-by-day makes us more like Jesus. Our priorities are increasingly His priorities, we increasingly see the world as He sees the world and we increasingly love as He loves.
We long to be salt and light. We are slower to anger. We increasingly hate the sin in our own lives. We see that through God's Spirit we actually can love our enemies. We desire more and more to give to those in need, and we want no credit on earth for our good works. And, we can take no credit for any of it. Our sole act was to obey -- God did the rest and continues to do so.
Our prayer life changes too, as our motives become increasingly pure. We are less and less interested in our own circumstances, and more and more interested in God's kingdom -- and seeing His kingdom come to earth. And, these things become the focus of our prayer lives. We are interested in storing up treasures in heaven, and trusting in God to meet our earthly needs.
We are less and less judgmental. We know that "[i]f when we judged others, our true motive was to destroy evil, we should look for evil where it is certain to be found, and that is in our own hearts." Dietrich Bonhoeffer, The Cost of Discipleship. When we see others sin, our response is not one of judgment but one of grief, of prayer and of love.
More and more Jesus softens our hearts. More and more we truly rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn. Our hearts cry out when we see others in pain -- even when it is self-inflicted. Our desire is truly to be the face of Jesus in the lives of others.
There comes a time, however, when our actions are no longer fruitful -- and indeed even counter productive. And here, John gives us one example to ponder.
"If you see any brother or sister commit a sin that does not lead to death, you should pray and God will give them life. I refer to those whose sin does not lead to death. There is a sin that leads to death. I am not saying that you should pray about that. All wrongdoing is sin, and there is sin that does not lead to death."
1 John 5:16-17.
When we see verses like this one we are naturally curious. We want to know the nature of the "sin that leads to death" -- although I am not sure it is always for the right reason. It is like going to a NASCAR race to see a crash.
Having said that, my best guess is that, given the context of the letter, it is talking about people who have left the fellowship and are teaching falsely about Jesus. It is difficult to imagine a more serious sin than leaving someone into an eternity separated from God. Some had left the church, and were likely teaching that Jesus was not fully man and fully God.
The more practical point, however, is that the Bible teaches that there are points in time when we are helping others -- trying to lead others -- when our actions end, even though our love continues. It may be our efforts to lead someone to Jesus, to lead someone out of sin, or our provision of financial, emotional or material support. We can get to a point where our words and actions simply have no positive impact, and may even cause the very people we are trying to help "turn and tear us to pieces."
Here are a some other examples in the scripture of what we are talking about.
“Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces."
Matthew 7:6.
If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, leave that home or town and shake the dust off your feet. Truly I tell you, it will be more bearable for Sodom and Gomorrah on the day of judgment than for that town."
Matthew 10:14-15.
It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that even pagans do not tolerate: A man is sleeping with his father’s wife. And you are proud! Shouldn’t you rather have gone into mourning and have put out of your fellowship the man who has been doing this? For my part, even though I am not physically present, I am with you in spirit. As one who is present with you in this way, I have already passed judgment in the name of our Lord Jesus on the one who has been doing this. So when you are assembled and I am with you in spirit, and the power of our Lord Jesus is present, hand this man over to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, so that his spirit may be saved on the day of the Lord."
1 Corinthians 5:1-5.
Coming to the conclusion that we have done all we can in a particular situation is agonizing. Our hearts continue to cry out, but we can see that nothing positive is coming of our efforts. We can become frustrated and sometimes angry -- with them or with ourselves. So, let me be unusually practical this once. In such situations, consider these things.
1. Pray.
2. Whatever happens, it is neither your victory nor your failure. All you can do is your best -- God is the only one who can change hearts. Do not take on a burden for yourself that belongs to God alone.
3. Don't use these scriptures as an excuse to give up too soon. Have faith that God is bigger than the problem.
4. When you think it may be time to retreat, seek wise, godly counsel. You probably shouldn't have been doing this alone in the first place. (And, no, seeking wise, godly is not the same as gossiping!).
5. Pray some more.
6. If you do reach the conclusion that you have done all you can, don't stop loving, praying and believing that God may open the door again in the future ... when they are ready, or when YOU are ready.
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