As many of you know, my earthly father passed away last Saturday.
Dad was born Thomas H. Crews (he became Thomas H. Crews, Sr. after my older brother was born) but was known to his friends as "Tom." Dad was a complex man. He came from humble beginnings -- a Louisiana boy -- but pursued and conquered the "American Dream."
As Dad was conquering the American Dream he found the game of golf. Dad loved all things golf. He played golf, he watched golf, he talked golf and he dreamed golf. Dad would play 18 plus holes on Saturday and then again on Sunday. Then he would watch golf tournaments on T.V., which he had been taping while he was playing.
For years we gave Dad golf stuff for his birthday. But a day came when there was simply no more golf stuff to get him. Once he had all the golf stuff there was we pretty much stopped giving him anything for his birthday. It just seemed like there was nothing else we could give him that he would like. Some of you probably think I am exaggerating. I'm telling you the man LOVED golf.
Dad was far from perfect -- just like the rest of us. He was impatient and could have quite a temper. For example, going out to dinner with him at a restaurant required a seat belt and a strong stomach (not because of the food!). If Dad didn't like the service or the meal (an all too often occurrence) the waiter or waitress (I guess now they are just called "servers") was going hear about it. If Dad really didn't like the service or the meal pretty much everyone at the whole restaurant was going to hear about it!! Sometimes those stories were funny in retrospect. Sometimes they were not funny even then. Again, some of you think I am exaggerating.
But Dad was also a very generous man. He loved and valued family. He desperately wanted the best for all of us.
Later in life Dad gave up part of his Sundays on the golf course and started attending church again. My mother had become very active in the church, and I guess Dad figured if she was going to be that involved he might as well at least start attending too. Somewhere along the way Dad and God got reacquainted.
Dad had grown up in a minister's home, but I guess over the years his focus drifted away from God and on to other things. Not that there was a time when Dad didn't believe -- it's just that there was a long period of time where Dad really didn't give God much thought. But in these later years Dad's faith became extremely important to him, and I think God changed him. Dad became a more gentle person. I don't think there was anything that he wanted more than for the whole family to have faith in Jesus.
It was not always clear what Dad was thinking, but I believe there were two things that made Dad proud of me. The first was my wife, Pam. I think Dad was shocked that a girl like Pam (beautiful, smart, ... did I day beautiful yet?) would be interested in a guy like me. So, he encouraged us to get married quickly before she could change her mind!
The second thing I think Dad was proud of was my calling. It's funny, but while I think Dad respected my career as a lawyer, I don't think he was particularly proud of it. Dad never had nice things to say about lawyers. But I do think that my ordination as a pastor meant a great deal to him.
In my last few days with him, Dad wanted to spend most of our time in prayer. The first day, Pam and I prayed with Dad countless times during the day, and again when my aunt Jackie and cousin Beth arrived to visit him that night. It was amazing how natural it felt to pray for my father and to see God comfort him. I was grateful for this time together, and that God (and my time at Heartland Church) had prepared me for that moment.
We live in a time when it seems like everyone wants to blame all their problems in life on their parents. I don't think that's biblical, and most of the time I don't think it's fair. We are supposed to honor our parents.
I have not been a perfect father for my kids, and Dad was not a perfect father for me, my brothers or my sister. But Dad was a good man who loved God and who loved us -- and I would not trade him for anyone.
I love my Dad.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dx1inqsFmIU&feature=related
Proud Grandpa
Right to left: Dad, Mom, Uncle Morris, Aunt Jackie, Uncle Bill
No comments:
Post a Comment