Black Lives Do Matter

When I was a young lawyer practicing in Orange County California I found myself one day in a court that is now, I believe, known as the Harbor Justice Center.  Over time I appeared in courts all over California, but most frequently in the Orange County Superior Court located in Santa Ana.  This day was different because it was the first and only time I ever stepped foot in this particular court, which is located in Newport Beach.

Although I have no recollection of why I was there that day, I distinctly remember that I was in a large courtroom and that the judge had quite a few civil matters on the docket that morning.  The courtroom was crowded with other guys in suits just like me.

After the judge took the bench he announced that before calling the civil docket he had to attend to a few criminal matters.  On one side of the courtroom there was basically a cage where they brought in three men, all donning orange jump suits and hand cuffs.  All three men also happened to be "African Americans" -- or if you prefer black men.

After the three men were situated the judge advised them that although they were each there for separate and different offenses, they were all in basically the same boat so he would deal with them together.  The long and short of it was that each had been charged with a relatively minor offense, and each had been in jail for three days because they had been unable to post a bond so they could get out on bail pending trial.

The judge then said that if they wanted to plead guilty, the judge would sentence each to three days in jail, give them credit for time served and let them go home.  The first man readily agreed to the plea as did the second.  But the third man balked -- he was adamant that he did not commit whatever crime he had been charged with. 

So, the judge patiently told the third man his options again -- he could insist on a trial, or he could plead guilty, get credit for time served and go home.  A second time the man balked.  "But judge, I didn't do it" he said.

In a slightly less patient tone, the judge advised the man a third time of his options.  "Look," he said, "you have been here for three days because you couldn't make bail.  I will sentence you to three days, give you credit for time served and let you go home today, if you plead guilty.  If you plead not guilty, because you cannot make bail you will have to go back to jail and wait for a trial date, which could take weeks."  "Now what do you want to do?" the judge asked again.  Exasperated, the man responded that he really didn't do it, but that he guessed that he had no choice but to plead guilty.

I cannot tell you that the arrest of any of these three men was motivated by racism.  (Although I can tell you that this might have been the only time back then that I ever saw three black men in Newport Beach on the same day.)  I cannot tell you that three white men suspected of committing similar offenses would have been treated differently.

What I can tell you is that at least the one defendant was firmly convinced of his innocence, and that he was denied justice because of his economic circumstances.  Or, to put it more bluntly, he was denied justice because he was poor.

You may be wondering what this isolated event twenty-five or so years ago has to do with Black Lives Matter.  I want to suggest that it has a great deal of relevance.

I cannot speak on behalf of white Americans, or black Americans or anyone else.  I can only speak on my own behalf.  And personally, I am sick that our country (and the church) remains divided based on race.

I have seen many people, including many of my friends, respond to the idea of "Black Lives Matter" with the cry that "all lives matter."  Well, let me be clear about this -- I agree that "all lives matter."  Who doesn't agree with that?  In fact, guess what?  I think that the overwhelming majority of black Americans agree that "all lives matter."  And, I think that the overwhelming majority of black Americans believe that "police lives matter."  In fact, I don't think any human being with an ounce of moral fiber can disagree with the idea that "all lives matter" and that the hate toward and targeting of police officers in this country is beyond horrendous.

The problem, though, with simply responding to the current crisis with the retort that "all lives matter" is that it is really saying (or at least interpreted as saying) "we are not listening to you."  It is seen as a denial of, or disinterest in, the black experience in America.  It is heard as a denial that at least some of the events that have lead to where we are today were racially motivated -- and particularly a denial that some innocent young black men have lost their lives at least in part because of the color of their skin.

I am not defending "Black Lives Matter" as a movement -- I honestly don't know enough about it to really comment one way or the other.  (If I had to guess, I would say it has this similarity to the anti-war movement in the 60's -- there were some people who were honestly and passionately against the war, and there were others who were mostly interested in sex, drugs and rock-n-roll.  Like most things, painting with too broad a brush is not all that helpful.)  What I am suggesting is that to find unity -- which I think is what most people really want -- we need to start by doing a little more listening, and a little less reactionary talking.

I don't think that the encounter I had with injustice at the Harbor Justice Center is foreign to many in the black community.  I think it is common.  And I think the sometimes reality, and sometimes perception, that justice is not color blind is, and to an extent must be, part of the lens through which black Americans see life in this country.

If you know me, you know that I have little to no interest in politics.  And, I hold out no hope that government will ever fix this particular problem.  What I am desperately interested in, however, is unity in the church of the living God.  I am desperately interested in God's people leading in the way of love.

Romans 12:16-21 says: "Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position.  Do not be conceited.  Do not repay anyone evil for evil.  Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone.  If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." 

The Bible tells us to strive to live in harmony, but far too often we are happy to voice opinions that divide.  Facebook can be a terrible thing!  We are to strive to live in harmony and peace because when we act or speak there is something greater at stake than our political positions, our rights or our convenience.  Someone's eternity may hang in the balance.  The reputation of Jesus may hang in the balance!

Taking this idea a step further, the Apostle Paul endeavored to become whatever he needed to become in order that some might be saved.  He didn't ask his audience to become like him -- a follower of Jesus -- until he first became like them.  He knew he could not effectively share the gospel until he first attempted to step in their shoes -- to see the world as they saw it.  This is the heart of a disciple of Jesus.   

The next time you are tempted to react to at least the idea of black lives matter, you might ask yourself what it must feel like to be worried for the safety of your twenty-something year old son or daughter every time they walk out the door.  You might ask yourself what it feels like to pray that your children don't experience some of the hate that you grew up with. ....

References for Romans 12:17

• Cross References

• 31 12:17 - ver 19; Pr 20:22 ; 24:29
• 32 12:17 - 2Co 8:21

Though I am free and belong to no one, I have made myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible.  To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law.  To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God’s law but am under Christ’s law), so as to win those not having the law. To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings.

References for Romans 12:16

• Cross References
• Footnotes

• 29 12:16 - S Ro 15:5
• 30 12:16 - ver 3; Ps 131:1 ; Isa 5:21 ; Jer 45:5 ; Ro 11:25

• ± 12:16 - Or "willing to do menial work"                                                                                                                                                            

                                        
                            1 Corinthians 9:19-23                                                                       

References for Romans 12:18

• Cross References

• 33 12:18 - S Mk 9:50 ; S Ro 14:19

Blessed Are Those Who Mourn

People come to a faith in Jesus for a variety of reasons.  It is almost certainly the case that most people who claim to be "Christians" inherited their faith -- that is, they are people who grew up in an at least nominally Christian household. If that is you, there is a chance that going to church, or even simply self-identifying as a "Christian," may be more a commentary on your family of origin than it is a commentary on the condition of your heart.

Others came to a faith in Jesus during some sort of crisis in their life.  Life, for whatever reason, became overwhelming, and Jesus seemed to provide a way out.  If that is you, there is a chance that during that time of turmoil in your life you realized that you needed a savior, but did not realize what you needed to be saved from.

As I was thinking about the first two Beatitudes this afternoon I had a rather disturbing thought.  I wondered how many people come to Jesus to be saved from their circumstances instead of to be saved from their sin?  I wondered how many people claim Jesus as their savior who have never repented of their sin.

                     “Blessed are the poor in spirit,
                             for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."

You have probably heard people say from time to time something like "you can't know you are in need of a savior until you know that you need to be saved."  Although its a bit of Christianese, it also happens to be true.  Recognizing our spiritual poverty -- that we need to be saved and can do nothing to save ourselves -- is the first step toward salvation.

As we talked about last week, though, remembering our spiritual poverty doesn't just lead us to salvation -- it opens the door to real victory in life.  It is one of the many paradoxes of the Christian life that in order to find real power in our lives we must come to the realization that we ourselves are powerless.  Pride and self sufficiency will destroy us, but humility and utter dependence will give us life.  Indeed, humility and utter dependence are necessary to open our eyes to the reality of Jesus, and to open the very gates of heaven.

If we want to live in victory, we need to remember that our strength comes from Jesus alone and not from ourselves.  Indeed, we need to remember that apart from Jesus we can do nothing.  John 15:5-8.

               "Blessed are those who mourn,
                             for they will be comforted."

Like recognizing our spiritual poverty, spiritual mourning is a critical step toward salvation.  Spiritual mourning is first about recognizing our sin -- our separation from God -- and then mourning because of it.

Truly recognizing our sin and mourning over it is a gut wrenching experience.  When the "Old Testament" was first translated into Greek in what is known as the Septuagint, the translators used the same word for mourn  (πενθέω [pentheō]) that we see in Matthew Chapter 5 to describe Jacob's emotional state when he believed his favorite son Joseph had been killed by a wild animal:

Then they got Joseph’s robe, slaughtered a goat and dipped the robe in the blood.  They took the ornate robe back to their father and said, “We found this. Examine it to see whether it is your son’s robe.”

He recognized it and said, “It is my son’s robe! Some ferocious animal has devoured him. Joseph has surely been torn to pieces.”

Then Jacob tore his clothes, put on sackcloth and mourned for his son many days.  All his sons and daughters came to comfort him, but he refused to be comforted. “No,” he said, “I will continue to mourn until I join my son in the grave.” So his father wept for him.

                                                                                          Genesis 37:31-35.

Most of you have never lost a child, and I pray that you never experience mourning of that magnitude in your life.  I will also say this though -- if the emotional turmoil you experienced mourning over sin even remotely approached the grief one experiences when losing a child none of us would sin again. The brief pleasure of sin would never be worth the price of grieving over it to us.  The temptations of this world would never be enticing enough to make us willing to go through that kind of suffering again.

Spiritual mourning, of course, is not the end in and of itself.  No, spiritual mourning is a blessing because it leads to repentance, and ultimately to freedom and joy.   "Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.  See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done."  2 Corinthians 7:10-11.

Like recognizing our spiritual poverty, the need for spiritual mourning does not end at the point of salvation.  We will make mistakes along the way, and we will need to mourn over our sin again to come to a new place of repentance.  But I am also convinced that more and more we will find victory over sin.  We are more than conquerors -- as we are being conformed to the very image of Jesus. Romans 8:28-39.  It is not without reason that Jesus tells us to "be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect."  Matthew 5:48.  Perfection is impossible for man, but a defining characteristic of the Spirit of God that lives within us.

I am also convinced that as we continue on our journey our spiritual mourning becomes less self-focused.  The more we ourselves are conformed to the image of Jesus, the more our mourning is for others.  It is a mourning in the truest sense -- not flowing from a place of pride or spiritual superiority, but from a place of heartbreak.  We are nothing but poor beggars who have stumbled on the "bread of life" and desperately want to share what we have found with a world that is hungry and thirsty -- a world that is starving but does not understand why it is hungry.  It is a world that devourers anything and everything that it thinks will bring joy and happiness, but a world that can never be satisfied.

People who mourn this way share the gospel with others.  They must.  It is a moral imperative.

Since my people are crushed, I am crushed;
    I mourn, and horror grips me.
Is there no balm in Gilead?
    Is there no physician there?
Why then is there no healing
    for the wound of my people?
Oh, that my head were a spring of water
    and my eyes a fountain of tears!
I would weep day and night
    for the slain of my people.    

Jeremiah 8:21-9:1.

Poor In Spirit

This last Wednesday night I had the chance to visit with someone I have not seen much of in the last few years.  This person was describing to me how during an extremely difficult time in life she began to question why her life did not match up with what she understood about her faith.  I guess the question was why was she suffering when she had Jesus?  So, she went back to read the Bible for herself, and in that process she discovered that Jesus was not exactly who she thought he was.  She also discovered that much of what Jesus taught was different than what she had been lead to believe.  Through her suffering, her eyes had been opened.

To me, at least, the conversation was confirmation not only that we are on the right track, but that God is leading many people to this same place of rediscovery that we have been on now for the last couple of months.  I think virtually all of us have seen God peel away misconceptions that we have picked up somewhere along the path of our spiritual journeys.  I think all of us are truly discovering for the first time important truths about our faith ... and about the real freedom we have in Jesus.

As I was contemplating all of this something occurred to me that I wish had come to mind on Wednesday night (although, then again, God's timing is perfect).  When we think about the radical contrast between the disciples during the last days Jesus was on the earth in human form and those same disciples for the remainder of their lives after His resurrection, we attribute the difference (as we should) to God's gift of the Holy Spirit. 

In those last days, of course, Peter denied Jesus three times (John 18:16-27), the disciples deserted Jesus and fled (Mark 14:50) and they at first didn't even have the faith to believe that Jesus had risen from the dead (Mark 16:14) (among other things).  But after the Holy Spirit came these same disciples, now equipped with the very power of God, changed the world forever.

While I would never discount the importance of the Holy Spirit in our lives, I often wonder why so many followers of Jesus do not seem to live victorious lives.  I wonder, for example, why we have the same divorce rates, the same rates of alcoholism and the same rates of drug and other addictions as the secular world.  I wonder why we worship the same idols as everyone else, and why we struggle with anxiety, anger, lust, pride ... and the list goes on and on.  I mean really -- if the same power that raised Christ from the dead lives inside of us why can't we overcome such things?

And, while it might be foolish to think that there is a single answer to this question, I do think that before the Holy Spirit came on the disciples there was one more thing they needed to know deeply in their hearts and minds in order to be truly transformed.  I think they needed to know in no uncertain terms that the journey before them would only become possible when they learned what it means to be "poor in spirit."

Between the time Jesus was arrested and the time He rose from the dead, if anything became clear to the disciples it was that they were utterly lost without Him.  Jesus had told them while He was living that His followers could do nothing apart from Him (John 15:5).  But, I doubt they fully understood these words at the time.  After all, they were chosen among all men on earth to walk with the one true God. 

But now they were on their own.  They were powerless and lost.  They knew without any doubt that without Jesus they could accomplish nothing.  They were nothing.  They had nothing to offer.

         “Blessed are the poor in spirit,
                 for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."

It is one of the many paradoxes of the Christian life that in order to find real power in our lives we must come to the realization that we ourselves are powerless.  Pride and self sufficiency will destroy us, but humility and utter dependence will give us life.  Indeed, humility and utter dependence are necessary to open our eyes to the reality of Jesus, and to open the very gates of heaven.

Jesus tells us that we must give up everything in order to be His disciples.  In fact, we must hate our own lives to be His disciples.  Luke 14:25-33.  It is at first a daunting thought.  Who possibly could or would follow Jesus given the cost?

But as time goes on hopefully we get to a place where, like the disciples, we truly know that we have nothing to offer -- we embrace the fact that we are poor in spirit.  When we know with certainty that we bring nothing to the table and that we are powerless, then giving up everything is not as difficult as it at first seemed.  Indeed, we realize that the "everything" we are called to give up was really valueless in the first place.  Our trust in our possessions, our jobs, our status and even ourselves turns out to be an illusion anyway.

  

If someone else thinks they have reason to put confidence in the flesh, I have more: circumcised on the eighth day, of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; in regard to the law, a Pharisee; as for zeal, persecuting the church; as for righteousness based on the law, faultless.

But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ.  What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith.  I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.  Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. 

                                                                                           Philippians 3:4-14.

Ulysses

When I was in high school some of my friends and I went to the beach to check out some rare, twenty something foot waves that had been generated by a tropical storm.  We were not crazy enough to think we could swim in waves of that magnitude, but a little ways down the beach the waves were a much more manageable ten to twelve feet.  So, we put on our swim fins and jumped into the water.

In what seemed like seconds the current pulled us out to the waves.  And, in the time it takes to snap your finger our thoughts of body surfing changed to thoughts of survival.

As each wave came all I could do was take a deep breath, dive under it, swim to the surface and frantically brace myself for the next one.  The force of the rip tide and the waves themselves was unlike anything I had ever experienced.  And, for the next forty-five minutes to an hour I fought with everything I had just to get back to shore.  The waves were relentless, and I seriously feared I would not make it out of the water alive.

If you have lived for any length of time there is a good chance that at some time or another your life has felt like that hour I spent in the water.  You have gone through a season or seasons where one wave has come after another.  You have experienced those times when nothing seemed to go right, and a new crisis would emerge before you even had a chance to catch your breath and gather yourself after the last devastating blow.

As a pastor I hear such stories all the time.  I cannot tell you how my heart breaks for people who have been in the waves so long that they are not sure they can survive even one more set back.  Sometimes the waves are the result of bad choices, sometimes they just come, and other times it is a combination of both.  But the waves, and the despair, are the same either way.

For the last nearly three years my family has been fighting through those daunting waves.  It started with the tsunami that came with Jonathan's passing, and has not ceased since.  The details are mostly unimportant, but waves of various types continue to crash over us.  A wave of that magnitude seems to generate a string of smaller crises -- but crises just the same.

One of the things that I think everyone in the family thought about after Jonathan was taken from us, but was left mostly unsaid, was that Jonathan's dog could not die.  He just couldn't.  We couldn't survive losing him.  I know that its irrational, but Ulysses is to us the last living, breathing evidence of Jonathan's life -- of his existence. 

Fortunately, Ulysses was only six or seven when Jonathan passed away, so we knew that we would not be losing him anytime soon -- or so we thought.  Then, several weeks ago we could tell that something was wrong with Jonathan's dog.  We ultimately found out that he has cancer, and just today we learned that he likely has only a few weeks left with us.

I am tired of seeing my family in pain.  I am tired of being in pain myself.  And, I am tired of the tears.  Losing a dog any time is obviously not a good thing, but in the circumstances it is more than any of us should have to endure.  For us, it is one more piece of Jonathan that will be lost to us forever.

I know without doubt that God has used our experience, and our pain, for our good and for the good of his kingdom.  I also know that we will survive this, just as we have survived so many waves before.  But I pray for a time of peace for my family ... and for justice.

  

All Things To All People

"A poet has written, 'The desire to feel loved is the last illusion: let it go and you will be free.'"  ⥋ Brennan Manning, The Ragamuffin Gospel.

The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread. ⥋ Mother Teresa

And he said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.  For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it.  For what does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses or forfeits himself?

                                    Luke 9:23-25.



This week, yet again, God set us on an unexpected course and brought us to an unexpected crossroad. The crossroad is familiar enough.  But despite its familiarity there is something unsettling that takes place -- that must take place -- every time we find ourselves there.

In one direction is the world.  In the other direction is Jesus.  And, Jesus demands that we choose to follow Him or to follow the world.  We are given the freedom to choose -- but choose we must.

The enemy of our souls, too, is familiar with this crossroad.  And he will do everything possible to confuse us.  As we contemplate which way to turn, Satan tells us that the easier path or the more comfortable path leads to Jesus too.  "We don't really have to die to ourselves," he whispers in our ear.  "God has put these desires in our heart.  Why would the same God who gave you the desire to be loved, to be noticed and to be significant ask you to deny these things?  You deserve to be loved by other people, don't you?  You need to be loved by other people, don't you!  You deserve to be happy!"

The world tells us that if we try to be "all things to all people" we will cheat ourselves out of happiness and peace.  But the Bible tells us that "being all things to all people" is the mark of a disciple.  We will not be known for how much we are loved by the people around us, but for how we love others.  We will be known by our love for one another -- and because we love like Jesus.  John 13:34-35.

If we look at the end of each of the Gospels we see from slightly different angles the mission that all followers of Jesus have in common.  It is the mission born of love for God and for other people.

In Matthew, the mission is presented straightforwardly, and may seem simple enough.  We are to "make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit," and teaching them to obey all Jesus commanded.  Matthew 28:19. 

In John, we get a sense of the peril we face in preaching the gospel -- of the sacrifice of our own life that will be required.  Jesus tells Peter that loving Him will mean feeding His sheep.  But, on the heals of this directive Jesus said to Peter "[t]ruly, truly, I say to you, when you were young, you used to dress yourself and walk wherever you wanted, but when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and another will dress you and carry you where you do not want to go.”  Jesus said this to show Peter what kind of death he would experience to glorify God.  After this stunning revelation Peter was left with two simple words -- “Follow me.”  John 21:18-19.

Here's how you will die, now follow me!  What a compelling invitation.  It was an invitation that Peter could never have accepted based merely on an intellectual understanding of Jesus.  It was an invitation that made sense only for someone who actually experienced Jesus.

The end of the Gospel According to Mark, too, has Jesus instructing the apostles to preach the gospel to the nations.  And, Jesus tells them that "these signs will accompany those who believe: In my name they will drive out demons; they will speak in new tongues; they will pick up snakes with their hands; and when they drink deadly poison, it will not hurt them at all; they will place their hands on sick people, and they will get well.”  Mark 16:17-18. 

Finally, Luke records that Jesus explained to the disciples how everything written about Him in the Law of Moses, the Prophets and the Psalms had to be fulfilled: “This is what is written: The Messiah will suffer and rise from the dead on the third day, and repentance for the forgiveness of sins will be preached in his name to all nations, beginning at Jerusalem.  You are witnesses of these things.  I am going to send you what my Father has promised; but stay in the city until you have been clothed with power from on high.”  Luke 24:47-49. 

Yes, the disciples would be His witnesses.  But they could not do it on their own.  They had to wait until the power of the Holy Spirit came upon them.  And that power would not only be an internal, unseen power to persevere.  It would be a visible power -- they would drive out demons, heal the sick and speak in different tongues; all in the name of Jesus.

In the day we live in many believe that the more spectacular manifestations of the power of the Holy Spirit no longer take place.  The result of this is a faith based primarily, if not exclusively, on intellect.  Others believe in the more spectacular manifestations of the power of the Holy Spirit, but treat them as a blessing for themselves or abuse them in some other way.

There is nothing that I have seen in the Bible to suggest that God -- or the way he reveals Himself -- is any different now than He has always been.  And, I believe that we are right now seeing  God do increasingly incredible things in our midst.  But I also believe it is no coincidence that greater manifestations of God's power coincide with greater obedience on the part of God's people.

God manifests His power not to entertain us, but for His own glory.  When we experience His power it gives us the courage to push forward.  It gives us the strength and fortitude to preach the gospel in this dark world.  It is His Spirit and his power alone that allows us to give up our own lives and instead to live for his kingdom.  It is His transforming power that allows us to no longer crave love,  attention, acceptance, significance etc. from other people, but instead to find contentment in Jesus.  And, once we have found that contentment, it is his power alone that allows us to become all things to all people, so that by all possible means some might be saved.

It is the power of the Holy Spirit that allows us even to consider giving up our freedom, and becoming a slave to everyone.  It is His power alone that allows us to give up our own dreams, aspirations, and even our basic needs in order to advance the gospel.

Jesus tells us that "[g]reater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends."  And He calls us to give up whatever we must, and become whatever we must, so that some might be saved. 

It is interesting to me that many have said that when we gather together lately they feel an overwhelming sense of love.  This should not be a great surprise to since God is love.  1 John 4:8.  And, as my wife has been pointing out, we always have the choice to be in the presence of love ... and indeed in the presence of God.  But, that choice is not determined by the people we decide to spend time with.  Ultimately, people will disappoint us if we look to them as our source of love. 

No, the only way we can be assured of being in the presence of love is if we choose to love others.  And, if we truly love others we will want them to know Jesus.  And, we will sacrifice anything in order for that to happen. 

Am I not free? Am I not an apostle? Have I not seen Jesus our Lord? Are you not the result of my work in the Lord?  Even though I may not be an apostle to others, surely I am to you! For you are the seal of my apostleship in the Lord.

This is my defense to those who sit in judgment on me.  Don’t we have the right to food and drink? Don’t we have the right to take a believing wife along with us, as do the other apostles and the Lord’s brothers and Cephas?  Or is it only I and Barnabas who lack the right to not work for a living?

Who serves as a soldier at his own expense? Who plants a vineyard and does not eat its grapes? Who tends a flock and does not drink the milk?  Do I say this merely on human authority? Doesn’t the Law say the same thing?  For it is written in the Law of Moses: “Do not muzzle an ox while it is treading out the grain.”  Is it about oxen that God is concerned?  Surely he says this for us, doesn’t he? Yes, this was written for us, because whoever plows and threshes should be able to do so in the hope of sharing in the harvest.  If we have sown spiritual seed among you, is it too much if we reap a material harvest from you?  If others have this right of support from you, shouldn’t we have it all the more?
But we did not use this right. On the contrary, we put up with anything rather than hinder the gospel of Christ.

Don’t you know that those who serve in the temple get their food from the temple, and that those who serve at the altar share in what is offered on the altar?  In the same way, the Lord has commanded that those who preach the gospel should receive their living from the gospel.

But I have not used any of these rights. And I am not writing this in the hope that you will do such things for me, for I would rather die than allow anyone to deprive me of this boast.  For when I preach the gospel, I cannot boast, since I am compelled to preach. Woe to me if I do not preach the gospel!  If I preach voluntarily, I have a reward; if not voluntarily, I am simply discharging the trust committed to me.  What then is my reward? Just this: that in preaching the gospel I may offer it free of charge, and so not make full use of my rights as a preacher of the gospel.

Though I am free and belong to no one, I have made myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible.  To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law.  To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God’s law but am under Christ’s law), so as to win those not having the law.  To the weak I became weak, to win the weak.  I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some.  I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings.

                                                                                                1 Corinthians 9:1-23.