His Presence

The end of all things is near. Therefore be alert and of sober mind so that you may pray.  Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.  Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling.  Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.  If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.

                                                                                                    1 Peter 4:7-11.

What happens when a small group of people who love God and who love each other get together to thank God, to worship Him, to praise Him and to pray for one another?  Well, that's exactly what we all experienced Wednesday night.

I think that most people who attend HC on Wednesday nights would agree that something has changed lately.  It has not that I have become a better teacher or have stumbled on some secret to help people better know or experience God.  It is not that we have changed the format in some way.

I think it is truly a "God thing."  Isaiah 55:10-11 says:

As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the
earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth:  It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

I think that we are experiencing God's presence because the things we have been hearing and seeing in the Word of God over the past couple of years have begun to sink in with all of us.  I think we have become a group of people who increasingly are less self-interested, and increasingly are focused on God, His kingdom and other people. 

Peter says that we are to love each other deeply, and to use whatever gifts we have to serve one another.  I have come to think that this is not only a command from Jesus, but it is also a key to opening the door to God's manifest presence. 

As we saw a couple of weeks ago, the gift of the Holy Spirit is conditional on our obedience.  See John 14:15-16.  When we love God and obey His commands, then we need the Holy Spirit to teach us, to guide us, to comfort us and to encourage us.  We need the Holy Spirit to know how to pray for one another, and how to minister to one another.  And, I believe we saw the Holy Spirit doing exactly that Wednesday night. 

It was incredible to see my friend John lead worship, my friend Health lead Communion, and my friends Linda, Rhonda, Mike, Kerry and so many others praying for one another.  It was amazing to hear Cathey, Lamar and so many others tell stories of God's restoration, healing, freedom and power.  It was wonderful to see families praising God together.

For myself, I have been learning more and more that things go best on Wednesday nights when I do my best to get out of God's way.  But I am also learning that to really experience God's presence the entire body has to be engaged in what God is doing -- everyone has to be doing his or her part.  God is overjoyed when He sees His people love each other deeply.   That's God's vision for his church. 

The Most Wonderful Time of The Year ....

I am not quite sure how it happened, but suddenly it was upon us.  Somehow, despite all of the signs around us, Pam and I had been unaware of its imminent arrival.  It had crept up on us as if out of nowhere.  It was as if it had been stalking us, hiding in the tall grass, until it was close enough to pounce.

We felt its arrival at nearly the same time.  It always comes in the form of a now familiar sting.  But neither said anything at first.  I couldn't quite put my finger on it.  I thought it was just me.  When you suffer catastrophic loss in your life grief just comes at times of its choosing.  But soon enough it became obvious that Pam, too, was in its awful grasp.

Thanksgiving was nearly here, and there was nothing we could do to stop it or to avoid it.  And, to make things even worse we learned last week that Jonathan's dog has cancer.  That was, at least momentarily, a crushing blow.

I am not by any means a dog fanatic.  Don't get me wrong, I like the little guys as much as the next guy.  But losing a pet is part of owning one.  It is an inevitable part of the experience.  This is different though.  We are just not ready as a family to let Ulysses go.

I know it is irrational, but I think all of us very early on independently had the thought that losing Ulysses some day would be unbearable.  For whatever reason it just seems like as long as that dog is alive a little part of Jonathan still lives too.

A friend of mine from church today posted a comment on Facebook challenging the idea that "God never gives you more than you can handle."  I am not sure where that idea came from, but it is fundamentally untrue.  In fact, I am not at all ashamed to admit that there have been many times over the last few years where Pam and I had to deal with far more than we could handle.

The Apostle Paul, and many other Bible heroes, also at times faced more than he could handle.  As the Apostle told the believers in Corinth: "We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself."  2 Corinthians 1:8.

In these times, times when the burden of life seems like too much to endure, I think we either tend to lose our faith or to come to the realization that God truly is our only hope.  And, often words on the pages of the Bible often suddenly have real and new meaning to us.  I know, for example, without question or doubt that I am "poor in spirit" -- that in reality I have no strength apart from God.

Its funny, but many times over the last few years people have commented about how strong Pam and I have been through all of this.  If there is anything I know with certainty, though, it is that whatever "strength" we have demonstrated has been the strength of God -- and not our own.  As the Lord said to Paul: "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."  2 Corinthians 12:9.

I know that there are many others for whom this is not "the most wonderful time of the year."  Some of you, like us, have lost loved ones that make the holidays unbearable.  Some have gone through divorce or become estranged from family.  Some have no family or real friends to spend this time with.  And the list goes on and on. 

I cannot guarantee you that having Jesus in your life will make this time of year pain free.  I do not even know whether the time from Thanksgiving to New Year's will ever be pain free for me or my family.  I do know that, at least for me, going through all of this without Jesus would be impossible.  And, going through this without the prayers and support of my church family would be impossible too. 

 

True Love

Cornelius was a Roman and a centurion -- a soldier and commander of men.  He would have been identifiable by his vine staff -- a rod used by centurions to motivate and discipline those under their command.

Though Cornelius himself loved God, from the point of view of the Jews generally, and the followers of Jesus specifically, he surely was the image of the enemy.  The power represented in his vine staff was the power to oppress, kill and destroy.

By the time Cornelius bowed down to Jesus the Romans had occupied Judea and oppressed the Jews -- God's chosen people -- for over 100 years.  A few short years later a revolt would break out.  The Romans would restore order by brute force.  Hundreds of thousands of Jews would lose their lives and the Temple would lay in ruins before it was all over.  According to some historians, the spoils taken from Jerusalem, including the Temple, were used by Rome to fund the building of its famous Colosseum.

And, of course, it was Roman soldiers who tortured and mocked Jesus.  It was Roman soldiers who nailed Jesus to the Cross:  And the soldiers led him away inside the palace (that is, the governor's headquarters), and they called together the whole battalion.  And they clothed him in a purple cloak, and twisting together a crown of thorns, they put it on him.  And they began to salute him, “Hail, King of the Jews!”  And they were striking his head with a reed and spitting on him and kneeling down in homage to him.  And when they had mocked him, they stripped him of the purple cloak and put his own clothes on him. And they led him out to crucify him.  Mark 15:16-24.  And, when it was all over the centurion who commanded those men came to a realization -- And when the centurion, who stood facing him, saw that in this way he breathed his last, he said, 'Truly this man was the Son of God!  Mark 15:39.

I do not think it a coincidence that Jesus chose a Roman centurion to be the first Gentile to be saved through his blood.  Through His life, death, resurrection and beyond Jesus demonstrated time and time again, and in no uncertain terms, His love for man (and women).  I do not think it was lost on Cornelius that no human love could cross the barrier created by the Roman occupation and, even more so, the barrier created by the suffering Jesus Himself endured at the hands of these oppressors.


As humans we have a tendency to lump together those who resemble anyone who has harmed us, or even anyone we perceived as a threat.  Peter was stunned to "realize how true it is that God does not show favoritism but accepts from every nation the one who fears him and does what is right."  Acts 10:34.  If  the offer of salvation extended even to the very people who drove nails into the hands and feet of Jesus, what people on the earth could possibly be excluded?  Peter must have realized that truly there is no limit to the love, mercy, forgiveness and grace of God.  Surely he remembered those words of Jesus spoken from the Cross -- "forgive them Father, for they know not what they do."

We have seen that God's promise of the Holy Spirit is conditional -- it is reserved for those who love him and obey his commands.  John 14:15-16.  And, we have explored briefly what it means to love the Lord our God with all of our heart, all of our mind, all of our soul and all of our strength.  Now we must turn to the second part of the greatest commandment, and begin to explore what it really means to love others.

Here, we might be content to imagine that the command is fulfilled by adhering to the "golden rule."  We must simply treat others as we would want to be treated ourselves.  It is perhaps a paraphrase of the commandment to love our neighbors as ourselves.  See Leviticus 19:18.

But Jesus, as He did so often, brought greater clarity to the true meaning of these words during his time on earth.  Twice He told us that there is a new command.  We are not to love others as ourselves, but we are to love others as He loves them.  John 13:34-35 (“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.  By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”)  John 15:12-13 ("My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.  Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.").     

Jesus calls us to a love that is truly impossible for man.  And, by choosing a Roman centurion to be the first Gentile to be brought into the family of God, Jesus demonstrated the serious of that commandment.  No longer can we take His command to "love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you" (Matthew 5:44) as mere hyperbole.  Jesus both said those words and lived them out.  "To confess and testify to the truth as it is in Jesus, and at the same time to love the enemies of that truth, his enemies and ours, and to love them with the infinite love of Jesus Christ, is indeed a narrow way."  Dietrich Bonhoeffer, The Cost of Discipleship.

I am afraid that in many of our churches today the core of what it means to be a follower of Jesus has been lost.  We give lip service to the greatest commandments -- having no real expectation that the Holy Spirit of God, the very power that raised Christ from the dead, will give us all we need to truly love others with the infinite love of Jesus.

Because we focus too much on what God can do for us, instead of on what God can do through us, we end up with a counterfeit faith -- a fruitless faith.  And that, my friends, should make us very, very nervous.  Consider for yourself what Jesus says about love, and about branches that bear no fruit.

 “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.  If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned.  If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.  This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.

“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love.  If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love.  I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.  My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.  Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.  You are my friends if you do what I command.  I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.  You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you.  This is my command: Love each other. 

John 15:5-17.


P.S.  It is interesting that the disciples had expected Jesus, the Messiah, to be a political and military leader who would conquer the Romans, expel them from Judea and return Israel to its former glory. What we may overlook at times is that Jesus did conquer Rome.  But he did it with love instead of the sword.  And He used the infrastructure that Rome had built, particularly its intricate network of roads, to spread the gospel and change the world.      

   

Shattered

I spend almost every Saturday morning with a wonderful group of guys at the church.  Most of the time I really want to be there.  But I have also found that even on those rare days when I feel like sleeping in, being with the guys always proves to be the better alternative.  There is just something about being around this group of imperfect men struggling to know Jesus better.

This last Saturday, though, I decided to stay in bed.  The truth is that much of the time life remains unimaginably difficult for my family.  And, I just get to the point where I feel so worn down that I need to step back and rest.

It has been over two years and nine months since Jonathan was taken from us, and the void that was left in our lives still hovers constantly.  As we approach our third Thanksgiving and our third Christmas without him, I cannot help but reflect on the great times our family always had this time of year.  But I also have to brace myself for the unbearable pain that I fear is waiting in the shadows.

Increasingly I see the visible evidence of the toll that the last couple of years has taken on all of us.  I see it in our eyes and I hear it in our voices.  It does not seem to hide as well as it once did.

I know that as followers of Jesus we do not grieve as those who have no hope -- we will see our son and brother again.  And, I am confident that someday Christian and Dani will find a way to live normal lives again.

But for now we are still navigating -- still trying to discover how to pick up the pieces in our collective lives that have been shattered.  I thank God, though, that we remain close -- supporting each other as best we can through this unspeakably difficult time.

I want to thank again all of you who continue to pray for us.  We have some unbelievable friends, and I do not know how we could have survived without you.  

Even in all of this God is good.  

His Presence 1

And all the craftsmen among the workmen made the tabernacle with ten curtains. They were made of fine twined linen and blue and purple and scarlet yarns, with cherubim skillfully worked. The length of each curtain was twenty-eight cubits, and the breadth of each curtain four cubits. All the curtains were the same size.

He coupled five curtains to one another, and the other five curtains he coupled to one another.  He made loops of blue on the edge of the outermost curtain of the first set. Likewise he made them on the edge of the outermost curtain of the second set.  He made fifty loops on the one curtain, and he made fifty loops on the edge of the curtain that was in the second set. The loops were opposite one another.  And he made fifty clasps of gold, and coupled the curtains one to the other with clasps. So the tabernacle was a single whole.

He also made curtains of goats' hair for a tent over the tabernacle. He made eleven curtains.  The length of each curtain was thirty cubits, and the breadth of each curtain four cubits. The eleven curtains were the same size.  He coupled five curtains by themselves, and six curtains by themselves. And he made fifty loops on the edge of the outermost curtain of the one set, and fifty loops on the edge of the other connecting curtain.  And he made fifty clasps of bronze to couple the tent together that it might be a single whole.  And he made for the tent a covering of tanned rams' skins and goatskins.
                                                                                      Exodus 36:8-19

When Moses finished the work on the tabernacle it was filled with the glory of the Lord, and even Moses was not able to enter into it.  Exodus 40:34-35.  In time, God told Moses to tell Aaron, the high priest, that he could not walk behind the curtain and into the Most Holy Place whenever he wanted either. Leviticus 16:1-2.  Instead, the high priest could enter into the Most Holy Place -- the place where God made his dwelling -- only once a year on the Day of Atonement.

One man could enter the most Holy Place, and only once a year.  And even then, the high priest had to follow meticulously the rituals laid out by God.  If the high priest entered at any other time he would die.  See Leviticus 16:1-34. 

So too, when Solomon finished his work on the Temple it was filled with the glory of God.  All those who were there for the dedication -- the priests, singers and musicians -- had to stop what they were doing.  The priests could not even enter the temple.  Instead, they all knelt with their faces to the ground and worshiped.  2 Chronicles 7:1-3.


The temple Solomon built was 30 cubits high (1 Kings 6:2), but in the time Jesus walked on the earth in human form the new Temple built by Herod was probably 40 cubits high. That means that the curtain or veil concealing the Most Holy Place was likely somewhere near 60 feet high. The veil may have been as much as four inches thick, and it was fashioned from blue, purple and scarlet material and fine twisted linen.

The veil surrounding the tabernacle not only separated God from man, but it protected man. To be in God's presence meant death.  To be in God's presence was more than any man could bear.  It is why Isaiah cried out that he was ruined when he encountered Jesus on the throne (Isaiah 6:5), and why Peter pleaded "go away from me, Lord" when he encountered Jesus in the flesh.  Luke 5:8.

It is funny, but no matter how prideful, arrogant, self-reliant and self-centered any man may be, all of that changes in the presence of our Holy God.  It is, from what I can tell, the universal response of man to the presence of the one true God to fall face down before Him.  In the end, every knee will bow down before Him, and every tongue confess His name.  Romans 14:11.  We know deep inside that our sin disqualifies us from being in His presence -- we do not belong there.

And yet, though we do not deserve to be in the presence of our Holy God, he wants us to be with him.  And, he made the ultimate sacrifice so that we could be.  He died on the cross to cleanse us from our sin -- making it possible for us to be with him in eternity AND even to be in His presence now.  In the moment of his death, the veil that separated man from God was torn from top to bottom

And when Jesus had cried out again in a loud voice, he gave up his spirit.

At that moment the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. The earth shook, the rocks split and the tombs broke open. The bodies of many holy people who had died were raised to life.  They came out of the tombs after Jesus’ resurrection and went into the holy city and appeared to many people.

                                                                                                     Matthew 27:50-53.

As the writer of Hebrews explains:

 Day after day every priest stands and performs his religious duties; again and again he offers the same sacrifices, which can never take away sins.  But when this priest had offered for all time one sacrifice for sins, he sat down at the right hand of God, and since that time he waits for his enemies to be made his footstool.  For by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy.

The Holy Spirit also testifies to us about this. First he says:

 “This is the covenant I will make with them
    after that time, says the Lord.
I will put my laws in their hearts,
    and I will write them on their minds.”

Then he adds:

“Their sins and lawless acts
    I will remember no more.”

And where these have been forgiven, sacrifice for sin is no longer necessary.

Therefore, brothers and sisters, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, his body, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near to God with a sincere heart and with the full assurance that faith brings, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water.

                                                                                                     Hebrews 10:11-22.

Having a "personal relationship" with Jesus is part of the Christian lingo we employ these days.  These are words that roll off of our tongues easily enough, but I wonder how much we really comprehend the magnitude, and cost, of this gift.  I wonder how much most of us really pursue the kind of relationship that Jesus truly offers us.

Jesus is not looking for a casual relationship with us.  He calls us "friend" and that is what we are.  But He is also still God.  And his desire is for us to have a passionate, all consuming relationship with Him.  He wants to dwell in a new temple where his commands are written on our hearts and minds instead of on tablets of stone.  He wants us to love Him so much that our obedience is also our joy.  He wants us to long to be in his presence.

The question that I think we need to ask ourselves is this:  Do we really believe that just being in God's presence is far better than anything else we can imagine?  If we do, our hearts will burn with the desire to be with Him, and the promise of that eternity will drive our present.

Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere; I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked. 
                                                                                                                              Psalm 84:10
    

Loving God

As a wise man once said, "The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man."  Ecclesiastes 12:13.


If it is true that nothing we do in life matters except loving God and loving people, then how foolish we would be if we did not seriously contemplate what it really means to love the Lord God with all of our heart, all of our mind, all of our soul and all of our strength.  How sad it would be to live a life of spiritual blindness -- unable to see and understand the very reason for our existence.

I will be the first to admit that this is a question that I cannot really answer for myself -- much less for anyone else.  I am still learning, still discovering, still being taught.  It is a journey we are on together.  And, it is a journey in which God alone can lead the way.

I do think, though, that there is something to the idea that "to know God is to love God."  Maybe our finite minds cannot know Him fully.  But I do think that learning to love God requires that we continually seek to know Him or seek to know him better, as the case might be.  And, this is where God took us this week.    

I believe that this Wednesday night God revealed Himself to us in a palpable, intimate way.  It started, as it must have, in our worship and even more so in His Word.  We saw in the Bible time and time again that when men come face-to-face with the manifest presence of God their reaction is universally the same.  From the core of our being we know that we do not belong in His presence.

And so, when Moses encountered the burning bush he "hid his face, because he was afraid to look at God."  Exodus 3:6.  When Isaiah saw the Lord seated on the throne he cried out "woe to me! I am ruined!  I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the Lord Almighty."  Isaiah 6:5.  When Peter first encountered Jesus he fell at the knees of Jesus and pleaded with Him "Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!"  Luke 5:8.

No, the reality of the God who died on the cross for us cannot be captured in a painting of Jesus that hangs on a church wall.  The God who died on the cross for us is so majestic, so powerful and so overwhelming that even the angels cover their faces in his presence.  Isaiah 6:2.  He is a God deserving of all praise and glory.

And yet, while we have no business being in the presence of a holy God, He wants us to be there with him.  Indeed, He wants us to be there with Him so much -- He loves us so much -- that he came to earth in human form and died for us that we might live with him forever.  And so, while everything in our being compels us to fall on our face before Him, everything in His being compels him to say "stand up, be with me and serve me." 

In the Book of Revelation, it says this:

After this I looked, and there before me was a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, tribe, people and language, standing before the throne and before the Lamb. They were wearing white robes and were holding palm branches in their hands.  And they cried out in a loud voice:

“Salvation belongs to our God,
who sits on the throne,
and to the Lamb.”

All the angels were standing around the throne and around the elders and the four living creatures. They fell down on their faces before the throne and worshiped God, saying:

“Amen!
Praise and glory
and wisdom and thanks and honor
and power and strength
be to our God for ever and ever.
Amen!”

Then one of the elders asked me, “These in white robes—who are they, and where did they come from?”

I answered, “Sir, you know.”

And he said, “These are they who have come out of the great tribulation; they have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb.  Therefore,

“they are before the throne of God
    and serve him day and night in his temple;
and he who sits on the throne
    will shelter them with his presence.
‘Never again will they hunger;
    never again will they thirst.
The sun will not beat down on them,’
    nor any scorching heat.
For the Lamb at the center of the throne
    will be their shepherd;
‘he will lead them to springs of living water.’
    ‘And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.’”

Revelation 7:9-17.

If we are to learn to love God with all of our heart, all of our mind, all of our soul and all of our strength, I think this is the God we need to have in mind.  This is the One True God -- the God who sits on the throne.  The God who is our salvation.

In the business of life, and even in the business of church, I am afraid that we have a tendency to lose sight of who God really is.  And, as a consequence we have a tendency to lose sight of what loving him really means.  We attend all of our services, programs, groups and studies.  We serve on teams and participate in outreaches and campaigns.  We pat ourselves on the back and congratulate ourselves on all we do for his kingdom. 

In the end, we often expect little from our faith, and little is what we get.  We think it amazing when someone experiences emotional or physical healing -- forgetting that such miracles are nothing for the God who spoke the universe into existence. 

I wonder sometimes what would happen if we would do less, and contemplate him more.  I wonder what would happen if we really did try to get out of His way and let Him be God.

Just consider this scene from Second Chronicles:

Then Solomon summoned to Jerusalem the elders of Israel, all the heads of the tribes and the chiefs of the Israelite families, to bring up the ark of the Lord’s covenant from Zion, the City of David. And all the Israelites came together to the king at the time of the festival in the seventh month.

When all the elders of Israel had arrived, the Levites took up the ark, and they brought up the ark and the tent of meeting and all the sacred furnishings in it. The Levitical priests carried them up; and King Solomon and the entire assembly of Israel that had gathered about him were before the ark, sacrificing so many sheep and cattle that they could not be recorded or counted.

The priests then brought the ark of the Lord’s covenant to its place in the inner sanctuary of the temple, the Most Holy Place, and put it beneath the wings of the cherubim.  The cherubim spread their wings over the place of the ark and covered the ark and its carrying poles.  These poles were so long that their ends, extending from the ark, could be seen from in front of the inner sanctuary, but not from outside the Holy Place; and they are still there today.  There was nothing in the ark except the two tablets that Moses had placed in it at Horeb, where the Lord made a covenant with the Israelites after they came out of Egypt.

The priests then withdrew from the Holy Place. All the priests who were there had consecrated themselves, regardless of their divisions.  All the Levites who were musicians—Asaph, Heman, Jeduthun and their sons and relatives—stood on the east side of the altar, dressed in fine linen and playing cymbals, harps and lyres. They were accompanied by 120 priests sounding trumpets.  The trumpeters and musicians joined in unison to give praise and thanks to the Lord. Accompanied by trumpets, cymbals and other instruments, the singers raised their voices in praise to the Lord and sang:

“He is good;
    his love endures forever.”

Then the temple of the Lord was filled with the cloud, and the priests could not perform their service because of the cloud, for the glory of the Lord filled the temple of God.

I am sure all of the priest and the singers and the musicians thought they were doing a wonderful job worshiping God -- and no doubt they were.  But no matter how wonderful the prayers or the music, nothing that man could do could compare to the glory of God!  When God's glory filled the temple, all they could do was be still, and know that he is God. 

I See The Lord

Post Script:  I wish I could duplicate in this blog what we experienced Wednesday night -- but I can't.  This is, admittedly, a feeble attempt to describe what I can neither describe nor teach.  At the end of the day, knowing God -- loving God -- is something that can only happen when your heart reaches out for and connects with His Spirit.

Blessings