An Uncomfortable God

I love my church.  Or, more accurately, I love my church family.  Heartland Church is an amazing place.  It is a comfortable place.  It is a safe place.  It is a caring place.


And, church should be a comfortable place.  Indeed, it should be a comforting place.  Church is a place to come and be refreshed.  And, it is a place to come to renew our minds.  It is a place where we should feel the love of God, and where we should feel the love of those who love God.


But, there is a paradox here.  And, the paradox is this -- the more time we spend in our comfortable churches, the more uncomfortable we often feel in our spiritual lives.


I am not speaking here about feelings of guilt or condemnation.  I am talking about conviction -- a burning desire that inevitably comes when we earnestly pursue God, when we continually ask the Holy Spirit to direct our steps, and when we are disciplined in our study and meditation on God's Word.


When we think of uncomfortable encounters with God we might think of Jonah.  When Jonah was called to preach against Nineveh there was no lack of clarity --  no ambiguity -- in God's instruction.  But Jonah ran away, plainly uncomfortable with God's charge for his life.


But Jonah is by no means alone.  In fact, you would be hard pressed to find any significant character in the Bible who God did not bring to a place of great discomfort at one time or another -- or in many cases continually.


Moses heard the very voice of God, and he saw God do many amazing things.  Moses heard God speak from a burning bush, bring plagues on Egypt, pour water out of a rock, part the Red Sea and feed the Israelites with manna from heaven -- to name a few.  Despite all of this, Moses was rarely in a place of comfort.    


In fact, despite all that Moses had seen the Lord do, the burden of serving God often overwhelmed him.  One time in particular the people were grumbling about, of all things, having to eat manna instead of the meat, fish, cucumbers, melons and other things that had been available to them in Egypt.  And, Moses had enough -- the burden had become too great and he asked God to put him to death!


¹¹ He asked the LORD, “Why have you brought this trouble on your servant? What have I done to displease you that you put the burden of all these people on me? ¹² Did I conceive all these people? Did I give them birth? Why do you tell me to carry them in my arms, as a nurse carries an infant, to the land you promised on oath to their forefathers? ¹³Where can I get meat for all these people? They keep wailing to me, ‘Give us meat to eat!’ ¹⁴ I cannot carry all these people by myself; the burden is too heavy for me. ¹⁵ If this is how you are going to treat me, put me to death right now—if I have found favor in your eyes—and do not let me face my own ruin.”  Numbers 11:11-15 (NIV).


Elijah, too, had seen God do many things.  In First Kings, we read about Elijah's epic battle against the prophets of Baal.  See, 1 Kings 18:20-39.  You probably know the story.  Elijah, the lone prophet of the Lord, challenges the four-hundred and fifty prophets of Baal to a kind of duel -- a God duel!  


In the end, Elijah saw his prayers answered, as the fire of the Lord fell on Elijah's sacrifice -- burning not only the bull, but the wood, the stones, the soil and the water in the trench in the process.  The four-hundred and fifty prophets of Baal lost their lives that day.  Numbers 18:40.


Yet, shortly after this incredible encounter with God Elijah was running for his life.  Like Moses, Elijah had enough, and asked God to take his life.


³ Elijah was afraid^[a] and ran for his life. When he came to Beersheba in Judah, he left his servant there, ⁴ while he himself went a day’s journey into the desert. He came to a broom tree, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, LORD,” he said. “Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors.” ⁵ Then he lay down under the tree and fell asleep.  1 Kings 19:3-5.


Fortunately, most of us will never experience the kind of burden tasted by Moses or Elijah, or for that matter by David, Peter, Paul, Stephen, Ruth, Abraham, Jonah, Noah, Job, Mary, ... well, you get the point.  And, my purpose today is not to frighten you away from seeking a deeper relationship with God -- quite to the contrary.


All I am saying is that as you seek to know the Lord better, as you learn to love Him and to love one another more and more, don't be surprised if you begin to feel uncomfortable from time to time.  That is perfectly normal.  In fact, its often when you feel the most comfortable that you should be the most uncomfortable about your Christian walk.


We serve a great God -- a loving God.  But, sometimes He is also an uncomfortable God.  


By the way, God obviously does reward those who persevere.  Both Moses and Elijah got to the point where the burden was so great they wanted God to end their time on earth.  But both persevered.  And, both got to be a part of one of the most awesome scenes in the entire Bible!


¹ After six days Jesus took with him Peter, James and John the brother of James, and led them up a high mountain by themselves.  ² There he was transfigured before them. His face shone like the sun, and his clothes became as white as the light. ³ Just then there appeared before them Moses and Elijah, talking with Jesus.

⁴ Peter said to Jesus, “Lord, it is good for us to be here. If you wish, I will put up three shelters—one for you, one for Moses and one for Elijah.”
 ⁵ While he was still speaking, a bright cloud enveloped them, and a voice from the cloud said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased. Listen to him!”


⁶ When the disciples heard this, they fell facedown to the ground, terrified. ⁷ But Jesus came and touched them. “Get up,” he said. “Don’t be afraid.” ⁸ When they looked up, they saw no one except Jesus.


⁹ As they were coming down the mountain, Jesus instructed them, “Don’t tell anyone what you have seen, until the Son of Man has been raised from the dead.”
 ¹⁰ The disciples asked him, “Why then do the teachers of the law say that Elijah must come first?”


¹¹ Jesus replied, “To be sure, Elijah comes and will restore all things. ¹² But I tell you, Elijah has already come, and they did not recognize him, but have done to him everything they wished. In the same way the Son of Man is going to suffer at their hands.” ¹³ Then the disciples understood that he was talking to them about John the Baptist.

Matthew 17:1-13

Why Blog?

¹⁹ Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord, ²⁰ and that he may send the Christ, who has been appointed for you—even Jesus. 


Acts 3:19 - 20.


Last Saturday our men were challenged to come to a place of repentance.  The point was not, as some might think, to focus on specific things we might have done in our lives for which we needed to repent -- although some of the men in our group felt lead to do so.  Rather, we were talking about turning toward God and away from sin as a lifestyle.  Repentance involves confession (acknowledging our sinful nature before coming to Christ and our continuing failings), contrition (a sincere and heartfelt remorse) and action (heart change must lead to life change).  


The point of repentance is not to shackle us with a spirit of guilt.  Instead, it is to put us in a place where we can truly leave our past sins in the past where they belong.  Repentance should take us to a place where we can fully embrace God's grace in our lives, and truly appreciate the incredible gift of the Cross -- our salvation.  It should also take us to a place of humility.


So, you might be asking, what does repentance have to do with the question "why blog?"  Well, I am glad you asked.


²³ Search me, O God, and know my heart; 
   test me and know my anxious thoughts.
²⁴ See if there is any offensive way in me,
   and lead me in the way everlasting.


Psalm 139:23 - 24

On Saturday (in fact, a couple of days before then) I began to pray for God to search my own heart.  I began to ask what offensive things were in me that I might turn away from them -- that I might repent.  


And then, this Wednesday night, the point was made that one of the barriers that many of us have to true intimacy with God is our "quest for significance."  The desire to be significant is definitely something that God instills in us.  And, it can be a powerful thing when tempered by humility.


But the quest for significance can also be dangerous.  It is something that consumes our society.  Just ask anyone in advertising.  We Americans have a lust to be significant, and the underlying message in a great deal of advertising is that if we buy the product it will show the world that we are somebody -- that we are significant. 


And so, one of the questions I needed to ask myself, and that I needed God to answer, was whether my motives were pure in every aspect of my life -- and particularly in every aspect of my ministry.  That includes writing this blog.


The idea of starting a blog was not mine, so I can say with certainty that my motive at the beginning was pure.  I had no motive.


As time went on and I actually began to think about the purpose of the blog I could see that blogging was an opportunity to do many things -- to challenge, to inspire, to teach, to comfort, etc.  Good things.  And, I still very much believe that to be true.  In fact, I hope and pray that the blog does accomplish some of those things from time to time.  But, as I have been thinking about both repentance and the quest for significance, I have to ask myself the extent to which my ego -- my quest for significance -- motivates this blog.   


“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."


Matthew 5:3


After meditating on this, I decided to continue to write this blog.  But, I am going to be more vigilant about making sure that it is for the right reasons.  I want to do my best to write from a low place.  I want to do my best to make sure my motives are pure.  I want to do my best to make sure that writing is spirit lead and not ego driven.  I want to repent of my own quest for significance.  I want to do my best to advance the Gospel and to glorify God.


To me, being "poor in spirit" is the direct result of repentance.  It excludes ego, and it excludes ambition.  We have a God-given desire to be somebody, but too often find ourselves discontented with who God made us to be.  


Being "poor in spirit" can be a difficult place to be, and it is an extremely difficult place to stay.    But for those who are successful, "theirs is the kingdom of heaven!" 

Heaven 2

The past few days have been extremely difficult as our church family received, and has struggled to process, the news that Josh Hernandez went home to be with the Lord after an automobile accident last Saturday.  Our hearts and prayers go out to the Hernandez family, to our students in Elevate who have grown to love Josh so dearly, and to many others who have been close to Josh and his family over the last 18 years.   

A great deal has already been said and written about Josh -- about his character, his love for the Lord and his leadership both at Heartland Church and Byron Nelson High School.  At the bottom of this blog are a few links that will help you know a little about Josh, although words can never capture the true essence of a person -- particularly someone like Josh who impacted so many others.

As I have been reading some of the local press about Josh, and more so some of the Facebook posts by his friends and family, a couple of things have jumped out at me.  The first is the nearly universal mention of how much Josh loves God.  Josh lived a God-driven life.  And, it is clear from the Facebook postings that Josh's love for God was not reserved for his time at church.  There was no ambiguity at Byron Nelson High School about Josh's faith -- a faith that plainly was reflected in the kind of person, friend, brother and son he chose to be in life.  

The second thing that jumped out at me was a common thread in the social media postings about Josh -- which was a conviction that Josh is now in a better place.  A confidence that Josh is in heaven.

Not long ago I wrote a blog about heaven, which was inspired in part by the passing of my Uncle Bill.  Since that time my father also passed away.   

The other inspiration for that blog came during a family trip to Montana.  On the drive there, Pam, the kids and I listened to a book called "Heaven is for Real."  And, that really is what I want to talk about now.

"Heaven is for Real" is a pretty amazing story about a boy who, just shy of his fourth birthday, had an encounter with heaven and lived to tell about it.  I know -- I have read a number of these stories about near-death experiences and encounters with God and I often approach them with the same skepticism as many of you do.  This particular story is a little different though.

First, the things the little boy saw in heaven seemed to have striking biblical support.  Although the boy is a pastor's son, many of the things he spoke about in simple terms were far too complex and specific for a child that age to have learned in Sunday School -- or even in a pastor's home.

Even more compelling -- without giving away all of the details -- the little boy came back from heaven with knowledge of things (particularly about his family) that he simply could not have known.  For example, he was able to describe in detail where his parents were and what they were doing while he was in the operating room.  Perhaps his most compelling revelation though was about the composition of his family.

One day long after his brush with heaven this boy apparently announced to his mother in a matter-of-fact way that he had two sisters.  When the mother corrected him that he only had one, he insisted there were two.  He said he met a little girl in heaven who looked a lot like his older sister, but with different colored hair.  He said the little girl introduced herself as his sister, and told him she had died in his mother's tummy.  The little girl said she did not have a name because his parents had not given her one.

The mother immediately began to cry.  You see, she had miscarried years earlier and she and her husband had never told the boy.  The parents apparently had picked out a name for a boy, but at the time of the miscarriage were down to two choices in the event it was a girl.  So, the little girl never had a name.

Following the deaths of my uncle and my father, thinking about what heaven is really like suddenly had a lot more practical value than I had previously realized.  It became clear to me that being able to speak about heaven with some specificity and being able to speak about it in clear terms can be a powerful source of comfort and encouragement for people.  Pam wants to give a copy of "Heaven is for Real" to everyone who has recently lost a loved one for that reason.  I highly suggest you read it ... with an open mind.

Thank you for your continued prayers for the Hernandez family, and God bless.  

Oh, by the way, the little boy in the story met Jesus and described Him to his parents.  For some time after they showed him numerous paintings and drawings of Jesus.  But, he said none of them were quite right ... until he saw one painted by a little girl who is the subject of the link below.  You might want to check it out.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-MdJovn1hP0&feature=share





Memorial/Funeral Service Video
http://vimeo.com/40586996

News Media

http://www.the33tv.com/news/kdaf-byron-nelson-student-leaves-and-inspiring-legacy-20120416,0,5283079.story; http://dfw.cbslocal.com/2012/04/15/community-remembers-dead-high-schooler/

Other

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4MlNGTpQbQ;  http://www.guerrerodean.com/content/obituaries/view.jsp?OID=117623; 

Love 3

God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. ¹⁷ In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. ¹⁸ There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.


¹⁹ We love because he first loved us. ²⁰ If anyone says, “I love God,” yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. ²¹ And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother.


1 John 4:16-21


If you go to the Heartland Church web site and find the staff section, you will find a blurb from each staff member about their "desire for HC."  Here is what my blurb says:  "My first desire for Heartland Church is to see us continue to relentlessly pursue our role in fulfilling the Great Commission.  My second goal is similar: to always be a Church that puts God first and loves people.  Simple."


At the end of the day, I think church really is (or at least should be) simple.  Our job is to spread the Gospel and to disciple believers.  We accomplish those objectives primarily by learning to really love God and by learning to really love other people.    


I question sometimes, though, whether the church (meaning the Body of Christ as a whole) does a very good job of teaching what it really means to love other people.  It seems like much of the teaching in the church these days is inwardly focused.  It is about improving your life -- learning to be a better "you."


And, while part of the Christian walk must be inwardly focused, the ultimate goal of "sanctification" is to live a life that is outwardly focused.  The point of internal transformation is to change the focus of our priorities, our desires, our aspirations and so forth away from self and toward God and other people.


As it says in First John, if we don't love other people, we don't actually love God either.  That's pretty interesting, isn't it?  If you do not actually love your "brother," you cannot actually love God.  In fact, if you do not love your brother and yet claim to love God you are a liar!


I often hear people comment about how welcomed and loved they feel when they visit Heartland Church.  It is a gratifying thing to hear.  It tells me that Pastor Dan has been effective in modeling Christian love to our staff, to our leadership, and to our congregation.


But, the implication of those comments is that feeling loved and wanted is not necessarily a universal church experience.  And, that troubles me.  Church leaders by definition must become experts on how to love other people.


I have spoken and written a number of times about a book called unChristian, which talks about the negative perceptions that younger people have of the church in America today.  The negative perceptions that come to mind are that Christians are generally judgmental and hypocritical.


I think that most -- if not all -- of those negative perceptions could be erased if we just learned to love each other better.  Love is a powerful force.  


If we want to see the Church thrive, if we want to see "revival", we are going to have to do a better job of teaching what loving our brother looks like through God's eyes.  Just my opinion.

Why Me?

This past Sunday a young man approached me after one of our services to ask for prayer.  But, more than prayer, this young man was really hoping to get an answer to a question.  Its a question I am very familiar with.  It is a question I have often asked myself.  The question is: "Why me?"

This particular young man was not going through some personal crisis and wondering how God could have allowed that to happen.  His girlfriend did not recently leave him and he hadn't been arrested for anything.  He was neither homeless nor jobless.  He had no terminal illness -- no drug dependency.

Quite to the contrary, this particular young man had just recently gone through (and indeed is continuing to go through) incredible life changes for the good.  God has captured his attention.  More importantly, God has captured his heart!  And, from what I understand, his life has completely turned around.  In fact, just a couple of months ago he was baptized, and he is extremely excited about his new-found faith.

So, you might ask, what's the problem?  Or, why the "why me?"?

Well, the problem is this.  Although this young man has only recently accepted Christ himself, he can already feel the call on his life to witness to others -- and particularly to a family member who he knows is at a crossroad.  And, as he looks around a church filled with people who have been on the Christian walk for years, who know the Bible inside and out, and who have experience in leading others to Christ, in mentoring and in discipling, his question is "why me?"  In fact, after he asked the question he protested "I'm just a baby!"

When this young man began to explain his problem to me I know that a big smile appeared on my face.  Honestly, it was all I could do to keep from laughing.  Not out of disrespect mind you -- it just tickled me.  I have read this kind of story so many times in the Bible.  I have seen it play out so many times in the life of the Church.  And, I've lived it myself!!

So, I just explained to this young man that as he studied the Bible more he would begin to see that God has this thing about using the people who you would least expect to do the most amazing things.  And, I explained to him that, like it or not, he was exactly the right person to pour into the life of this particular family member.

One of the reasons God likes to use the unqualified and the misfits is because when good things happen there is no confusion about who should get the credit.  We give all of the glory to God in those situations in part because we have no other viable explanation for what happened.  Let me give you a recent example in my life.

Every Saturday morning at 7:30 a.m. I meet with between fifteen and thirty men from HC and from other churches for a "Bible study."  The group includes a number of Elders and Deacons from our church, as well as men who are relatively new to the Christian faith.

My role on Saturday is extremely limited.  I rarely lead the study (my good friend David does such a great job teaching!), and about all I really have to do is show up.

Anyway, we have seen God do some incredible things on Saturday mornings.  Most of the men in our group are truly fired up, and sense that God is doing something really special in that room.  I have seen fresh fires burn in men who have served for years.  I have seen God bring other men to new and unexpected places in their Christian walk.  I have seen marriages and other family relationships healed.  I have watched as one of my good friends has emerged from the ashes of divorce and begun his return to a calling in ministry.

I mention this because our group started with me asking a familiar question: "why me?"  Seriously.  I had no interest in starting or even being involved in a mens' ministry.  I certainly had no passion for it.  Worse yet, no one asked me to do it.  In fact, no one had even raised the possibility of starting (or restarting) a mens' ministry at HC.

I remember vividly the day I told our executive staff what I was thinking about doing.  At the very minute the words were coming out of my mouth I was thinking "what am I doing?"  I had plenty of things to do at the church and no time to start something new.  More importantly, Saturday was my only day off!!  And, I remember asking God "why me?"

The fact is that there is no way I could have planned or orchestrated what has happened in that room on Saturday mornings.  I don't even really know why I asked David to lead the teaching.

I used to ask "why me?" all the time.  I don't so much anymore.  Its not that I am any more confident or qualified or even comfortable in my calling than I was before.  Its more that I have learned that when I think I hear God's voice and I am tempted to ask "why me?" the answer most likely is that I am exactly the right person for the job!  God is funny like that.